Boundaries are one of the most important acts of self care you can say yes to in order to stay healthy and vital.

How you answer the question of what to say YES to and what to say NO to has a big impact of your health.

Even if you have a bounty of time, which most of us don’t feel like we have, you have to make choices in terms of where to focus your time and energy each day.

How you answer this question will come down to your priorities, values and critical needs in any given day.

As I’ve been sharing this month, there are many things I say yes to on a daily or regular basis to support my bodymind health including:

  • meditation
  • yoga asana or stretching
  • physical movement
  • home cooking with regular mealtimes
  • fun and play
  • time with family and friends
  • self oil massage
  • receiving professional bodywork and chiropractic care
  • reading
  • listening to yoga music

However, I can’t do everything on that list every day – or at least I haven’t been able to without either throwing myself out of balance or not getting any work done!

One of the things I’ve embraced for my yes list is the idea that I’ll have some core consistent pieces along with some things I rotate.  These keeps things manageable.

The flip side of my yes list is my no list.  It makes sense, right, that to have time for those YES items I have say no to something else including possibly:

  • scrolling endlessly through articles on Flipboard
  • scrolling endlessly through Facebook posts
  • sleeping late – by this I mean getting up at a reasonable time that not only allows me morning time for self care but also amplifies my energy rather than oversleeping and feeling sluggish
  • binging on tv shows
  • binging on reading (all in balance and sometimes a necessary good)
  • excess work (all work and no play makes Jamie no fun)
  • no or little work on weekends or after a certain time at night

If it supports you, I recommend creating your own YES and NO lists.  Though you likely know where your time drains are as well as what serves you, having that tangible list can brings things into clearer focus.

Finding Your Enough

In her book “Daring Greatly”, Brene´Brown talks about a a skill that those who are able to live a Wholehearted life have – the ability to say ENOUGH.  In dealing with patterns and habits and their accompanying symptoms of dis-ease, they had to first learn how much they could do and how much was too much.

Then, instead of just managing their challenges with soothing devices or coping mechanisms, this group worked to change the behavior that led to the unwanted symptom or feeling rather than just placating the resulting symptom.  

And a big part of changing the actual behavior was to learn how to set boundaries for themselves.

I think of the YES and NO aspects as types of boundaries. 

Some are boundaries that fit together – I am going to say no to these things so I can make sure I get my yes done done.

Others are simply a NO boundary – I am not going to deal with this toxic person in my life with whom I always feel upset and bad about myself afterwards.

So the question is, “Are your self-care boundaries supporting the health and vital you want?”

If not, what are 1-2 boundary shifts you can start making today?

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